routine romance.

I lost something that was very important to me, and then a month later I got it back. And you’d think that would be great. And it is, it really is. I’m happy again. But while I thought it was lost for good, I realised (of course) that life has to go on. And I was fairly good at putting my pain and heartbreak aside and doing just that – getting on with life. In fact, there were even tiny, brief glimpses of hope and anticipation as I realised I was entering a period where things would be new again (albeit these glimpses were always followed by the sadness of my loss). But new is exciting. I miss exciting. I’m a Sagittarius and we are said to be spontaneous. Now, I don’t really think I am, but I’ve always loved the idea of it. I’ve always wanted to be. I want to do exciting things like go bungee jumping. But I don’t want to book and plan it for months. I want to wake up one day and say “let’s do it today”. I want to act out scenes from a movie where they go to the airport, ask for the first available flight and travel to wherever that it. Maybe not quite that scene, as flights in America/Europe are a lot cheaper than within Australia, but you get the idea.  

And on top of this wanted spontaneity, I’m a sucker for romantic gestures. If a boyfriend ever does something to truly upset me, showing up with a written letter and flowers are the way to apologise.  And so, I’ve always loved when spontaneity is combined with romance. A surprise candle-lit dinner, not for an occasion, just ‘cause. A present because he saw it and thought of me. Flowers delivered to work. A cute and sweet text message. Putting on my favourite show to watch even though he hates it. I love it all. Even the smallest gestures can show romance and compassion.

And so, when my lost item (read: boyfriend) came back to me, yes, I was thrilled, but I also realised we would go back to the same relationship like nothing had changed. I’d miss out on the unknown that had awaited me. Now, the unknown is often awful. I’ve made the mistake of trying out a new meal for the first time at a restaurant – it has tasted horrible, I’ve wasted my money and been left hungry. However, when it comes to relationships, the first few unknown months are the most exciting. Boys try to impress girls during this time, so they are extra attentive, sweet, polite, caring. These traits don’t necessarily leave the relationship as it digresses, but I guess both parties get a little slack with it. So, my big issue and the issue I wonder how married couples deal with, is what happens when the excitement wears off? What happens when it turns into comfort? Why don’t boys understand that they should be romantic every now and then for no reason other than they still love you? And most of all, does comfort ultimately lead to boredom, or can it lead to a happy ending in the form of closeness, understanding and being content? What happens when loving someone becomes routine?