A lot of people tend to annoy me when they get into relationships because relationships often make people act like idiots. They become so consumed and involved, often lacking common courtesy to others and overreact to every little thing, often resulting in unnecessary conflict. I’m not saying I’m an expert when it comes to relationships and how things should go, but I’ve always thought I’m pretty good at being a girlfriend and I’ve been told by friends that I ‘have good perspective’ when it comes to being in a relationship. So, I thought I’d make a list of rules (and I use that term losely) that I try to follow, and that I wish others would too, so as to not annoy me quite so much.
Relationship rules;
- Jealousy is only good until it turns bad. I want my boyfriend to be jealous sometimes. Like if I’m out and some other guy tries hitting on me, if my boyfriend didn’t get a little jealous I’d feel pretty bad. Does he not care enough to care that another guy is hitting on me? Does he think I’m not attractive enough for anyone else to want me? But, on the other hand, I’d MUCH rather him not be jealous at all than be too jealous. Boyfriends who won’t even let you talk to another guy, who call you all the time to check up on you, who don’t want you going out without them, these are boyfriends I just wouldn’t stay with. I couldn’t. Just trust me enough to leave me the hell alone! This is one of my big issues, because I’m not the jealous type. I’m more than happy to have my boyfriend stay in a hotel room with his two girl friends on their holiday. I’m more than happy for him to go to coffee with a girl friend. Oh, there is a line to how happy I am, which all depends on how and when he met the girl, but I’ll get to that later. I guess I have no right to be jealous either, considering I’m still friendly with all my exes and still friends with my most recent one. That kind of hypocrisy doesn’t sit well with me. So, be a little jealous because it means you care but don’t be so jealous that you suffocate your partner with it.
- You can’t tell people how to live their life. This is one of my life theories. I hate girls that try to change their boyfriends, and vice versa. I hate girls that think they have a say in his life dreams. Sure, you can express your opinion that you don’t think professional surfer is a very realistic dream when he never learnt how to swim. But in the end you can’t stop someone from doing what they want and shouldn’t try. You’ll only seem controlling. Even if you know it’s a bad decision, sometimes it’s not your decision to make. People are always going to do what they want, so you may as well go along with it.
- SPELL.IT.OUT. Don’t say ‘I’m fine’ if what you mean is ‘I’m annoyed at you and wish you would do x y z’. Boys aren’t mind readers, nobody is. If you tell them you don’t want to talk to them or you want to be alone, they will stop talking to you and leave you alone. If that’s not what you really want, don’t say it! I remember telling my boyfriend that if I ever get mad at him and storm off saying ‘leave me alone’ he should always follow me anyway. Every girl wants to feel like their boyfriend cares enough to be there when she’s upset. Also, if you don’t tell people if/why you’re mad at them, they’re never going to change. Don’t sit there and whinge that your partner always ditches you for his friends if you’ve never expressed that to him. How the hell is he supposed to know it upsets you if you don’t tell him? So yeah, this one is pretty simple; say what you mean, and say it CLEARLY.
- Whoever was there first, comes first. This relates back to the jealousy thing. The main point is, don’t ditch your friends because you’re in a relationship. I don’t believe ‘friends come first’ or ‘bros before hoes’. I believe that if friends were there first, put them first. If your partner was there first, put him/her first. And as the partner, you should respect this too. If his friends want to see him the same day you do, respect that he needs to be able to spend time with them so he’s not the dickhead who only sees his girlfriend now and you’re not the bitch who stole him. Nobody wins in that situation because you alienate everyone around you – the people who are going to be there picking up the pieces if/when the two of you fall apart. And with the jealousy part – I’m ok with my boyfriend hanging out with girls he already knows. Girls he is already friends with. But if it was someone he met after he met me, it’s a little tricky. Because firstly I wonder, how did he become such good friends with this girl? I rarely make friends with boys when I’m in a relationship because I already have a boyfriend. I don’t need to make a new boy friend (notice the space between words). This is when jealousy starts to take over. Maybe he started talking to her because he’s attracted to her. Maybe he’s more attracted to her than me. Maybe he wants to kiss her. This is where communication is necessary. This is where step three: SPELL IT OUT is necessary. And thus the cycle continues.
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