the hunt.

My plan for after uni was always nothing. I needed a bit of time to myself, a break from study before full time work. And because I do have a job, be it in retail, I have no stress of needing a job, of money issues. But it's getting to that time where I really should start looking, which is scary. More than being nervous about starting a new job (which is pretty nerve-racking - will I pick up on things quick enough, will I be able to contribute good ideas, will the people be nice?!) I'm nervous about not getting anywhere. Rejection is a cruel thing. Job hunt rejection can make you feel worthless. Career job hunt rejection makes you question if the thing you put 3 years* of extra study into is ever going to pay off... and you've a bit to pay off as well, what with that Hex bill and all. "Are you good enough?" - the dreaded question.

See, all of this is in the back of my mind. But I think I'll be okay because I was always having this time off - so even if takes a bit longer to get hired, it's just extra 'free time'. Plus, I'm still figuring out what it is I exactly, passionately, want to do with my life and more importantly what I want to do that I can actually achieve. Maybe this makes it easier not to worry so much - it doesn't feel like the thing I want most in the world is slipping away because I'm not sure what that thing is. But some people aren't like that. Some people know exactly what they want, and they can't wait to start! In a way I envy them, I envy their sureness and their determination (because let's face it, the ones who already know what they want are always more determined).

However, their trouble comes when they have to wait. Rejection hits these people harder because they won't see it as extra 'free time', all they see is rejection. Dreams slipping away. The negative aspect. That's not a good feeling - but often a mindset that's hard to escape. So I don't know what's best when it comes to life after uni. I always wished I was determined enough to seek out work experience on my own accord, search through job listings and apply so much it felt like that's the only reason my email existed. But that's not me. I haven't found something that makes me want to do that yet. And I don't mind being (career) jobless for a little while.

I believe if it's hard now, it will only make you appreciate the final success more. What's triumph without overcoming problems on the way? Though I have a feeling if rejection is a series regular rather than just a guest appearance in my job hunt, of course it's going to start feeling like a lost cause. When that happens I hope the eternal optimist in me reminds me something perfect is just waiting, something better than anything I've applied for. And I damn well hope that optimist is right!

* 3 years if you chose to study at uni and chose a course with the minimum timeframe, like mass communication.

wasted.

So, last weekend me and my bestfriend went into Subiaco for a night out. And it made me think about how drinking (alcohol) is a waste of … well … a lot of things and also a loss of some others.

Mostly, money. Firstly, you’re probably going to have pre drinks before going out (you know, to save money because you won’t have to buy as many drinks when you’re out. Win!) Then, if you don’t have any sober friends willing to help out, you may have to pay for a taxi getting to your destination because you won’t be able to drive. Then there’s probably an entry fee, but everyone has to pay that, drinking or not, so we’ll let that one go. Of course there’s the overpriced drinks at the club. $8.50 for a glass of vodka and something, of which half is taken up by ice? You’ve got to be kidding me! Now because you’re drinking your smart decision making takes a back seat so you’ll probably end up buying more drinks than you need or possibly shouting those around you (who never return the favour, which is ok because being tipsy you probably won’t realize until the next day). That’s more money wasted. Often unnecessary food seems a great idea after a night out drinking, hell there’s even a facebook page about it, so $10 more goes on a kebab or maccas. And of course, there’s the taxi ride home. Don’t forget if you’ve run out of cash and are paying with eftpos, there’s an extra surcharge. Don’t you just love taxis?!

The second thing you waste is time. Time waiting for the taxi to drive to your house and pick you up. Time waiting at the bar for your drinks. Time waiting in line for food. Time waiting in that hugely annoying taxi line at the end of the night. I’d say time waiting to get in, but again that’s a general problem for anyone clubbing, not specifically drinking, but worth a mention because it's so annoying.

Of course if you do have a ‘designated driver’ friend, you’re also likely to waste their time. Time deciding if you want to keep on going after you’ve left the first place, time talking to your new friends you’ll never see again, time not wanting to comply with the lovely person driving you home for free because unfortunately you fall into the category of ignorant drunk. Oh, and this time wasting could also lead to future arguments, which coincidently wastes more time :O

Sometimes there’s the loss of the ability to think clearly which leads to stupid decisions like drunk calls, cheating, fighting someone you can’t take or overreacting badly to your ex boyfriend/girlfriend/bestfriend being in the same place as you, a situation where you ‘have to leave immediately’ and take your girlfriends with you, wasting their night too (and yes I limit this last one to girls as they are the ones that get overemotional about everything).

You can also lose friends and end up alone for the rest of the night because you're not thinking straight.

And finally (or at least the last waste I can think of at the moment) you tend to waste the day. The day after, to be exact. If you’re lucky and don’t have any commitments the next day, you waste it sleeping late, being hung over and laying on the couch. If you do have commitments, you waste the day complaining about how you didn’t get to sleep in or lie on the couch nursing your hangover. You also waste the time of those you’re moaning to.

Oh and I forgot one to go under ‘money’. I'm always hearing how people lose money after a night out drinking. Or spill their drink and ruin a new outfit. Or (worst of all) lose their phones. What a waste.

And don’t even get me started on people who drink and drive and risk the loss of lives.

Maybe this is why they call it ‘getting wasted?’ hmm…

autumn, i'm waiting.

So, as we all know (for those of us living in Perth anyway), it's been one of the hottest summers. And that heat really started to kick in in february, which felt more like the middle of summer rather than the last month of it. All of those above 35 days in a row were actually killing me. Let's blame global warming. Don't get me wrong, I like a nice sunny day - cute dresses, swimming etc. But the feeling of it being too hot to even step outside, too hot to even get dressed, well that's not a good feeling.

Finally, a week into march, a week into autumn (my absolute favourite season) we are experiencing weather below 35 degrees. In fact, later in the week it's supposed to sink just below 30! I am so excited for autumn to actually arrive. I'm excited for the fashion. Trench coats, baggy jumpers, dresses and boots, patterned stockings, scarfs, berets. Everyone looks better in the cooler months. Girls cover up (goodbye midrift tops and high shorts that cut off above your buttcheeks) and look more classy. Boys move into jeans (goodbye skinny boy legs that aren't the best assest on any of you) and into big (leather) jackets or cuddly sweaters.

By the end of last winter I realised I barely wore any of my many berets and scarfs or my leather jacket from europe - it was never cold enough and then suddenly it was spring. Well this year I'm prepared. This year I'm wearing them as soon as it hits winter, even if it's not cold enough - I'm not letting Perth's weather stop me from dressing in winter fashion!

So autumn, lovely autumn when the leaves turn brown and make for pretty pictures, my car doesn't feel like a sauna from sitting outside during the day, and it's finally cool enough to start drinking tea and wrapping up in a blanket again. Please hurry up and hit Perth. I'm sick of waiting for my season to arrive.