dreams and reality.

Within a typical day the average single person will create over 186 conflicting thoughts about love. They will tell themselves things like, “This is a good time to be single” within the same stanza as, “I’m horny, everything’s fucked.” This is normal, and is reflective of the human experience. We are store-bought bundles of poetic observations, clever humour and kisses. Oh dear god we are good kissers. Did we mention this? Upon the well-timed mouth we’ll make you forget every insult you’ve ever been given. … You just have to find us. We just have to find you. – Jason Heazlewood.

I’m not so sure about the ‘186 conflicting thoughts about love’, but what I do know is that I love everything about this Frankie article. I love the topic, I love the structure, I love the descriptive words and the way it flows like the thoughts of someone creative, passionate, and of course, literate. I love that it is purely based on someone’s own opinions; no interview is mentioned, no real hard facts or figures need to be given for it to be a worthwhile piece.

I love that when I read it, I know that this is exactly what I want to do with my life. I want to write. I don’t mind having to research a little for it, I don’t mind having to tell someone else’s stories for it. So long as I can tell it in my own words, with the freedom to be as descriptive and creative as I choose, I’ll be happy. I don’t mind having to start from the bottom and work my way up, either. Hell, I don’t believe I deserve to be able to jump straight in and get what I want - dreams don’t come that easily. I’m just not quite sure which door to open. And I don’t want to choose the wrong one and work my way up, only to find that path won’t actually lead me to my dream destination.

As the up and coming generation of workers, we have been told we can do what we want, if we put in the effort we can acheive what we want. So why would we think otherwise? Why should we settle for less? We have hundreds of options, most of which we aren't interested in. For those of us who know what we want to do, that's plan A. Often, there is no plan B. And the more I think about this, the more my optimism fades away and I wonder what will happen if plan A doesn't work out.

You’d like to think that already ‘working’ at a not-for-profit magazine organization would have me feeling like I’m moving in the right direction, opening the right door, at least. But unfortunately, this isn’t the case. Hopefully that can start changing as of next week because the excitement I get from having even the smallest part of my writing published online, is a feeling too good to ever give up on.

holiday.

This time last week I was going through photos from the holiday in Bali I’d just returned from. I already want to go back. Partly because Bali is so cheap and I miss only paying $5 for a meal or $1 for a taxi home after a night out (I now hate Perth taxi’s, their prices and lack of existence on a Saturday night, even more than I used to). But mainly, I miss waking up every day without worrying that I should be doing something more than cruising the markets and laying about the pool bar. I miss going out at night and being completely carefree, not having to worry about anyone but myself and my two friends. I miss having a fun, new experience planned for the day and money to spend. I miss not having to deal with anything else. 

                      

Of course, these things don’t just relate to Bali. They can be transferred to any holiday destination you so choose. They are the reason people love holidays so much. You can do things you would never do at home. You can be a little bit more crazy than usual, spend a little bit more money than you should and drink a little bit more than you do, because hey, you’re on holidays. You’ve allocated time for doing absolutely nothing (this works best if your holiday destination is somewhere with sun and pool lounges). You’ve (hopefully) spent months in advance being a very good little saver, restraining yourself from even stepping foot in a shopping centre, squirreling your money away like, well like a squirrel does with nuts for the winter and now it’s time to spend, spend, spend (without feeling guilty!). You get to go sight-seeing, experience different cultures and participate in lots of fun activities. You get to ask people several times what they are saying because you don’t understand the language and walk around with a map in front of your face because you don’t know where you are! Ok, so that’s not actually the fun part of holidays, but it’s still part of the experience.

   

   

For me, being single while on holiday was also a new experience all by itself. For the few non-family holidays I’ve been on, I’ve always had someone waiting for me back home, which has never bothered me and never will (the thought of breaking up with someone JUST because I’m going on holidays will never cross my mind). But, for that truly carefree aspect of holidaying, for meeting new people, for flirting with strangers, it’s kind of nice not having to worry about a significant other. And not just for your sake, but theirs too. It’s nice not having to worry how they’re coping, or that you haven’t been msging them enough, or if that new colleague who you knew was a manipulative flirt the moment you met her is trying to make a move on your man just because you’re out of the country (bitch!). And, of course, being a sucker for romance, I've always liked the idea of a holiday romance (though I’d recommend a more romantic destination than Kuta, Bali, if that’s what you’re after).

So, the moral of my story is this; everyone wants to be able to holiday their whole life. That’s it, that’s my entire moral. I’m not going to add some shit about how ‘of course life isn’t a holiday and you have to work to get what you want and working for it will make you appreciate it all so much more’. NO. That’s not true. If we could all holiday our whole lives, and do it in style (i.e. with an endless supply of money, a great immune system and a private jet) then everyone would be happy all the time. I’m glad I’m going away again in 2 weeks, that’s all I can say.